So I have stopped everything with this guy I was kind of seeing. I just couldn't do it. I am just not a believer in high school relationships and I don't think I ever will be but I'm okay with that cause I only have a little bit longer in it. So life went on as usual. More school, more homework, more failing classes and not giving a shit, more of parents complaining about me not heading any where in life well... I am going somewhere with my life and they just don't know it because I refuse to tell them. If they think I'm going to fail in life then I will continue letting them think that because they do not deserve the right to know. Just like I will never tell them about my social life. I can't even remember the last time I didn't lie about going to see a guy instead I just said I was staying at a close friend of mines.
Which brings me onto the topic of my booty call :)
His name is not important right now but he is perfect for me. Has troubles in relationships, prefers just being friends with benefits.... big benefits, with no strings attached what so ever. It's perfect.... there's just one thing... my bloody emotions seem to be fucking with me. No I don't like him more than just what we are now but it seems to be one of those things that I care about what he thinks of me and the things he says and stupid shit like that, and I can't deal with it so I'm trying to block them out but these things are actually a lot harder than you would think. Instead of just letting yourself go with it, your emotions and crap you have to push against them, I guess like pushing against a current. It's hard and as you continue doing it you get more and mpre tired and begin to succumb to your emotions. But I refuse to be at the mercy of my emotions and therefore I will not lose too my feelings and that's that.
Ciao!
Mel
xxx
